Focus

Fr/Pretend to be English

*Not into long distance relationship

I’m looking for a man to share everyday’s life with, to go camping, fishing, kayaking, shooting and changing my oil beside.

I want to listen at loud music and sing at the top of my lung « some Kind of wonderful » without being judge.

Just looking for an everyday partner I can support and encourage and vice-versa.

I’m a mom and I’m really family oriented.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no rush, nothing good comes easy.

3 mois et 11 jours.

3 mois et 11 jours, c’est le temps de guérison suite à une rupture selon les statistiques.

95 jours de célibat.

33 jours sans l’avoir touché.

24 jours sans conversation avec lui.

Les statistiques ne mentent pas. Period.

No more tears left for him.

No sign of sexual desire for him.

Connection lost.

Less lost then his soul…But still.

Because I gotta have faith like George.

If love feels like a wrecking ball right on first date, believe me, it is one. Think about it twice, and be prepare for demolition.

Lately I saw the truth. The reality hit me deep and really hard. I was covering my eyes with your sweet words and I even caught my mind doubting about myself.

Was I wrong? Hell yeah I was wrong to be so naive and brainless.

In the past, I had the chance to hold good man’s heart, but I always been scared of them. I always ran far from their love. Maybe I had to go through all that self destruction to learn how to open up to someone and not be afraid. Let’s be honest, your explosion skills are flawless and you know the methodology perfectly. You aren’t a green, you’ve got talent pursuing woman and being promiscuous.

Each day, I’m forgetting you more and more. And every single time I do, I also remember who I truly am.

Thank you for all the fights and for being blind to my worth. We both were.

Receive it.

Love,

Cornell.

SHE DON’T WANT THE WORLD

Good mornings. Random text just to see how my day is. Holidays as a family. Small thoughts here and there. Warm hugs instead of judgmental comments. Suppers in family. Oil changes in couple. Bonfires all summer long. Kayak trips on new waterbodies. Camping in the wild just the two of us, a boat and a tent. The smell of gasoline.

I don’t want the world.

I want to be part of something bigger then me. I crave to feel accomplished and become 1+1=3. I seek for synergy and full commitment. I want the big thing. Put a ring on my finger and let me become it all. Do it or leave me.

 

No, let me think about it…I’m leaving you.

 

I don’t feel like being used as a entrance mat. Only there for when shit hits the fan and life decide to be unkind with you.

 

I wanna be more then that. I deserve to be more. You’re not ready for me. I’ll make myself better, on my own. I won’t loose time to build myself better then I used to.

 

I am not a set of tire you can swap when you want.

 

Let me be. Let our disillusionment where it belong. Let’s pull the safety clip and pull the ring pin. Let’s initiate the combustion process of whatever’s left.

 

 

Électrique.

Tinder.

8 km.

Un beau dimanche soir, entre une brosse et le film Goon.

Une simplicité désarmante. Une connexion. Celle qu’on a peu souvent. Tout ça à cause d’un changement d’huile.

Des discussions fluides. Des rires sincères.

Merci pour la soirée.

Changement d’huile

Making the best of it.

My tiny human asked for you today.

Whatever was left from my dope soul and heart just fell on the ground.

Am I ahead by a century?

Can I get another piece of that cake?

Can I get it in a different taste, the last one was bittersweet?

Thought I was doing a bit better. Getting over it. Making the best of whatever was left in half construction.

Do you ever mean what you say when there’s no one around or do you just like to hear yourself?

I guess you always knew that you were going to crash my car into the bridge and let it burn.

Why did I liked the pyromaniac having a perfect methodology of whatever we called a relation?

Say goodbye;

To you,

To our family,

To me and you,

To you and him,

To my desires,

To my soul.

Maybe I should keep in mind that I’m a custom piece of crap built by a redneck from the south.

Guess I’m now rednecker then you.

Guess I should marry Hardy.

Guess I’m a good old buddy to stop by at 6 am.

Mama, He ain’t coming home. Ever again.

I hate myself.

No matter how scary it was, THEY became life partners.

THEY made it work.

THEY’re gonna fight over what THEY want for supper in THEIR long chairs on the lawn.

THEY’re gonna be able to say; WE made it work, WE’ve found our way through all the challenge life brought us.

THEY are now where THEY should be.

THEY have a supportive lover beside THEM, in joy and sadness.

THEY gave a deep meaning to THEIR relationship.

THEY’ll soon be married and live under trucks together half of THEIR free times.

If HE likes his new job, THEY’ll stay closer to HIS job. Compromise.

If HE doesn’t, SHE will start the procedure to move if that’s what HE wants, cause SHE knows HE’s all in and ready to give it all.

 

 

If by now, THEY haven’t moved together, THEY respect and love THEMSELF enought to call it over.

THEY might have been two humans who shared a limited time and been too chicken to do the big move.

THEY thought THEY loved each other, but not enough.

It was just a relation THEY had to go trough before meeting the person with who THEY will be fully decided to be committed to.

But THEY won’t be there anymore for each other…that’s for sure!

 

Tell me, who are they?…

Tell me where was I all the whole time?

Am I torn appart since I met YOU?

Am I fixed?

Am I a better person?

I only feel like an old tree drifting on the lake.

I feel accomplished but without any purpose.

I feel on top of the world, maybe like HIM.

I feel lost in emotions, empathy and sadness.

Ups and downs are leading my life, way too sensitive for that world.

Kurt'sNote